Your ex left you for bigger take and it looks she’s taken you

Your wife has a great Uber rating

Your friend was kind enough to let you see how talented she is

His cock means more to her than your anniversary

Oops

She’s been trying to win this promotion for a long time

He won’t knock her up. Yet

It’s not like he’d ever invite you anyway

She always said her best friend was good at MMA, now it’s time

The asshole still won’t leave you alone